Sunday, September 18, 2011

"Do not let your heart be troubled..."

Chemo is never fun or trouble-free, even in a lower dosages. I had 1/2 dose on Thursday and of course, the decatron (steroid) gives me a "high" for two days and nights. I did not sleep well until Saturday night (last night). Catching up on FB and email at 4 am is not sleeping well, at all! I really get lots done during these times, but then the let-down is rough! I sat on Thursday watching the various people waiting anxiously for their chemo and one older lady nervously wondering how her new port would work! The nurses are so wonderful and showed the older lady pictures of the port and how it would be used and gave her much re-assurance. I did not have any bad side effects other than the nerves until today. The nausea set in and thank goodness for nausea med! The bad rash on my body and still some cracked fingers and the throat that feels raw---these are the worst things right now (along with the nausea). I totally came out of my wig this week and lots of people at church were amazed I had been wearing a wig for a year! Anyway, it feels so good to be out of that!

I go to the urologist this week and get the surgery set up for the stint exchange. I hate the idea of being put to sleep again. I know ,as always, my life is in God's
hands and He controls everything that is done. People ask me how I keep going and have so much energy. I don't know except it has to be all from God. I could not do anything alone! When I had to heart echo last week, it showed a little bit of fluid in my heart...never had that before. The doctor said the chemo can do that. that chemo is a real "killer" Let me see--- do I want to die of cancer or chemo??? I will continue to be led by the Spirit...and go as long as God leads me.

John 14:27-28, Jesus tells us "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

1 comment:

  1. Barbara Johnson-ClarkSeptember 18, 2011 at 11:32 PM

    Hi dear sweet friend,
    Oh my you've had a rough week. I looked for you this morning at church, but somehow we missed each other. I knew you were there though; Jon was excited to report that he got to hug Miss Bev! My kiddos do love you so dearly. Remember always that you are in our prayers, each of them always remembering to pray for you, even when we say the blessing at our table each meal.
    Loving you and wishing a better week for you this week. We'll be praying especially about the stint; I know that is a scary thing even when we know God has us in the palm of His hand.
    Give big John a good hug from all of us,
    Barbara and Alan