Today was supposed to be chemo day. My body could not stand any more rat poison right now. The doctor said we would wait two weeks and see how I am then. I am so thankful for this reprieve! I feel like a "bird out of a cage"! My legs, feet, arms and hands have about 10 pounds of fluid on them (that is how much extra weight was on me today)and I am to take extra meds for a few days to get that off. Also, we can see if the sores on my legs go away. I talked to the doctor about possibly changing to another chemo because this one is just so damaging. My nails look like they have been beaten up. Fingers and toes are cracked open.
I re-told the doctor that if any of this does irreparable damage to my body, I will not do extraordinary things just to stay alive. Anyway, I am looking forward to eating for two weeks and hope it tastes good.
When John and I moved to Aiken, SC we assumed we would be there many years, as he got a job with a major company there. When we had been married nearly five years, our second son, Johny, was born and he was tiny and had medical problems early on and we thought these would be solved but we did not have very good doctors there and eventually we moved back here to be close to family and doctors we knew. Our daughter was born and we were able to build a home on some family land next to John's parents and we stayed there for 20 years and our children grew up being with grandparents as John and I both had. This was and is such a blessing to be close to family always.
Psalm 18:1-2 speaks of being thankful for daily blessings I feel God is giving me. Even if my body is breaking down He is letting me live and be with family and friends. "I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation , my stronghold."
Change After 30 Years
7 months ago
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