Saturday, January 22, 2011

"...stand firm in your faith..."

Isaiah 7:9 says "If you do not stand firm in your faith you will not stand at all." Is this not a marvelous way to approach your faith! Some time in the past week, I found this same quote in a totally different place (like in the New Testament) and while traveling, I lost the marker in my Bible...I found a near quote but this was such a surprise to find this, now cannot find it! I thought it was in Romans---I will find it later.
John and I went to Naples, FL where we try to go nearly every January for about 2 weeks. We left two days after chemo and came back today(Sat) and I see the Dr. on Tuesday . i think this round of chemo was the worst yet in the past several years. I never did enjoy any meal we had and John just loves to eat out, especially there, on the sidewalks, and all the good fish. My legs have been swollen and a bad rash on them and on my arms. My eyes "tear" constantly and my nose runs, nails are discolored and sore, my feet are cracked, and my toes are sore. I am really sick of being "sick". I think "will I die of cancer or die of chemo?" I have tried to be very strong and feel this is aiming for a cut back of the cancer, but I do not think it is a "cure". I am just not a "quitter" but my body is tired of being chemo-sick and I really miss eating!
We missed three good snows while we were gone but I think another is coming this week. We are having a big winter, but still not the amount at one time we used to have. I have pictures showing about 6 inches of snow usually. Also, remember eating snow cream? We had a garage set in a hill and we could stand next to the roof and pile big bowls of snow and Mama would mix this with vanilla flavoring and milk and it was like ice cream! I don't think anyone would dare eat our polluted snow now. We would also break off big icicles where ever we could reach them and eat those...usually off anything in the yard that was holding frozen water!
I must not let anything reflect off my faith, I also, need to let God lead me in what to do. I pray my doctor will use good judgment given him by God in what to do next.

3 comments:

  1. love you dear friend and pray that tomorrow you will feel the love and comfort that only God can give you. Carl and I are praying that you will heal and the swelling, rashes and pain will go away. We were in the mountains while you were in Florida and we had a beautiful snowfall. We stayed in the condo from Sun. to Wed. before we got out. We fed the birds from our balcony, read and enjoyed the peace and quiet.

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  2. Barbara Johnson-ClarkJanuary 22, 2011 at 11:44 PM

    We have missed you dear sweet friend, but Becky did touch base with me and let me know that you would return today. I hate that the chemo-sick was so overwhelming during this trip. We so wanted you two to enjoy every blissful moment of that beautiful city and the wonderful warm climate. You are too beautiful to be sick! I am going to stand steadfast in my belief that this is a cure, and as bad as this was is how good it's going to be soon! God is listening when precious little ones like our Jacob and Katie pray for you several times a day. They never forget Mrs. Bev. I know you are so anxious to hear what the doctor is going to say this week, and we are anxious to hear your report as soon as you can get it to us. And I will pray that we have a 6 inch snow very soon since you are back to enjoy it! Give John a hug from all the Clarks. We love you both so much.
    May God bless and keep you in the palm of HIS hand.

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  3. Bev,
    You are suffering from dry eyes (but you know this already). Living in the desert has multiplied my problem. My opthamologist put me on Restatis and I am to use gel for eyes at night and drops during the day. I lost my left eye vision and then had a scratched cornea as a result of dry eyes.I am determined not to lose my eyes (dry as raisins). I was crying all the time (sounds like an Elvis presley song).,.but I was. Now it's mostly under control. When you live with no humidity and dry air in and out of the house, it's a battle add chemo which dries everything...itch, itch, itch. I also found Curel for itching skin very useful (something OTC that actually works - amazing). I think of you every single day. You have GREAT courage.
    I'm dealing with overwhelming fatigue. I was dressed for worship this a.m. Completely dressed and it wiped me out. My breathing is giving me fits. I am finished with chemo but the beat goes on. This is not complaining...just the facts, jack. I pray for you Bev. You are my hero- as always, love kathryn

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