Thursday, June 23, 2011

"Keep your eyes open for God, watch for His works..."

The Message. Psalm 105:1-4 "Thank God! Pray to Him by name! Tell everyone you meet what He has done!Sing Him songs, belt out hymns, translate his wonders into music! Honor His holy name with Hallelujahs, you who seek God, Live a happy life! Keep your eyes open for God, watch for His works, be alert for signs of His presence."

We got to the oncologist early this morning, and he was so ready to start the chemo--I will be on Doxyll which is not experimental. Because of that he can adjust the dosage and we will start with a low dose. The main side effects are to be blistering of the hands and feet (no pedicures or manicures as long as I am on this) and also nausea. A slim possibility is loss of hair (NOOO, it is almost back!!!!!) I got the usual premeds to save my insides, and then the chemo, so this took about 2 hours.

Then we wemt to the urologist and he determined that there is no cancer inside my bladder so tomorrow, they will put me to sleep and insert a stent inside
the ureter (between bladder and kidney). This will be done to keep the cancer from mashing on this kidney and making it "die" . I would hate to lose a kidney. This stent will have to be changed out every 3 months because otherwise, a stone would form in the stent.

While I was waiting for the urologist to come and look up into the bladder, I started crying, and the dr and nurse both held my hands and put their arms around me. I was such a baby. I said "I guess this is the end and I won't live long now, and my husband needs me and I hate to not be with our babies..."Anyway, I really just "lost it!" but they were very understanding.

So here we go again into my 8th year, with new situations, a new chemo and things done to me that are different. I had to come home and think of what blessings there were today, oherwise, I would be too blue! 1. My oncologist is ready to start on anything he thinks will prolong my life. He does not wait and think about it! 2. God led me to a new doctor (urologist) who was very supportive and patient with my meltdown! and he did not wait but wants to do the stent tomorrow. 3. This nurse asked if she could add me to her church prayer list! 4. I am getting so many emails of encouragement and I cannot help feeling good. 5. John is always with me, totally supportive even when my moods happens to be kind of "snippy" Do I sound "snippy"? I pray tomorrow turnsa out ok and not too painful and that I can save that kidney. I really feel like "I am watching God's works"!

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