Thursday, June 2, 2011

Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you..."

I am certainly crying for help this week. This week, John took me to ER on Sunday night/Monday morning, then called my oncologist on Tuesday, got an MRI on Wednesday. Today (Thursday) saw my oncologist and found out the news from the MRI. The small cancer in my lower pelvic area is spreading and pressing against organs. It is causing colon problems and I had a seigmoidiscope today (put to sleep). This growth is causing my bladder to back up and might need a stint. We are ignoring the liver tumors right now. The idea of chemo is not even talked about just now. My next step is to see if the surgeon will operate and do what he can to slow/remove/do something to this growth. Part of my problems come from the radiation last spring. I knew I hated that radiation! The doctor who did the colon "seig" today was so nice. John and I have gone to him several times over the years and he sat and just talked to us and explained what I needed. Then he said, "We can do it today if you want to". So John and I went out for lunch and came back, had this done and were home by 4:00.

I had several minor "melt-downs" today. I hate this cancer and it is so difficult to be thankful for this as God tells us to. I am more of a "cry for help" right now. I will work on the thankfulness part! May 31 was my 7Th year anniversary for the cancer. So I am working in my 8Th year now. I am not ready to give up. I am not ready to be really angry, I am sad at something evil like this that takes life away. I would never blame God because He is so good to me and gives us such wondrous blessings. Also, we have two more "greats" coming in the next two months so I pray for them and their safety more than me. God knows my needs and He will do what is needed to be done!

"Hear my prayer, O Lord, let my cry for help come to you. Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me when I call, answer me quickly."
Psalm 102:1-2

3 comments:

  1. Barbara Johnson-ClarkJune 3, 2011 at 3:33 AM

    Dear Sweet Precious Friend,
    I could not sleep; I lay there in my insomniac state and wondered what was keeping me awake. I was praying for you and others, but my inner voice just kept coming back to you. I had gotten too busy before bedtime to check your blog, so I decided to get up and see if you had posted. Now I understand why God had put you so strongly on my heart that I could not sleep.

    I am trying hard to digest all that I've just read. More than ever friend, you amaze me. While cancer is spreading and choking your vital organs you are concerned with not being thankful to God for the experience! Bev, I've never known anyone who was more the embodiment of Christ than you. God will never hide His face from you sweet friend. Have no fear. Courage may be difficult to muster in the face of such discouraging news, but He will never forsake you. He will never forsake you. The choices for you are that He will heal you and give you more time on this earth than you expected, or He will decide to take you to His heavenly home. It's a win/win situation for you. It is only the rest of us who will suffer. But I don't expect that to be anytime soon; you have beaten unbeatable odds for seven years. Why? Because God knows how badly you are needed here on earth.

    Tell that surgeon you must have the operation. You must have equal opportunity with the cancer (enemy). I realize it's not the cure, but it's a purchase of time, and time with you is more precious than gold to those of us who love you.

    We will keep you covered in prayer.
    Love,
    Barbara and Alan and the children

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  2. oh boy
    yes youre right its very complicated and im sure even more than you let on here. love you so much
    praying so much for some relief.
    keri thompson

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  3. Bev,
    You are Captain Courageous. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. God sings over you in the night. He is our Light by day. May you be assured of all of His promises. Praying that your dr/s find the best and easiest solution for you.
    There are so many things that are not understood at this point in the road. You have amazing faith.
    God keep you,
    kathryn

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