Psalm 63:1, 4 "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. ...I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands."
I feel like I am living in a "dry and weary land". O God, I seek you in every moment, every day, I do not know how to pray. I think the stint is working and now if the chemo is working, maybe God will grant me a few more days, weeks, months, years? I do not know how to schedule my days. Am I to just live normally? Do I go shopping? Do I plan for future things to do? I shall have to re-do my thoughts of living. I feel I nearly died for some reason. There was nothing like that but I do not feel "normal" for some reason. I pray for so many friends and family and know we are each in God's hands. We are frail and just here by His will. Please God, I long for you, and for your will!!!
Change After 30 Years
7 months ago
Dear Sweet Bev,
ReplyDeleteYou live each day as you always have--as though it is your last! Live it to the fullest. Get the most out of each day you possibly can. Go shopping! Plan Christmas and vacation! If something changes, well, you won't go. It's the same for all of us. Maybe God will take me home before Christmas or my next vacation or retirement, but I'm PLANNING to live to be 95! Plan Sweet Bev! Plan to be 95--who knows? You and I both might make it, but if we don't--wow! Just look at all the fun we had. Remember, half the fun in anything is in the planning.
I'm praying for the stint to work and also for the chemo to work better than any one has worked before. You never know--your next miracle could be the one right around the corner.
I love you dearly,
Barbara
Tonight, I am praying that you will feel "normal" dear friend. When you don't know how or what to pray, others are lifting you up in prayer and God knows and understands your feelings.
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