"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus..."

"...the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, scorned its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12: 2 This verse jumped out at me for the necessity to "fix our eyes on Jesus". My eyes have been every where else lately. I have been sad, mad, worried, consumed with doctor's visits, avoiding talking to friends (because I hate talking about myself so much). How could so much change in two months!? The middle of April, we were so excited about the great CT and PET and how the tumors were shrinking, and one tumor had gone and just such good news. Then all of a sudden, there are more tumors, they are growing, there is much pain, tumors are impinging on body organ, surgery is out of the question, and all is dismal!



This week has been a very busy one, with the start of the new chemo yesterday. I have not had much side effects yet, but just a little nausea last night. I have a new pain medicine that is time release which will keep me at a higher level of relief all the time and not let the pain get away from me. Today we went in for what I thought was a minor shot in the arm type put to sleep and put a stint in my ureter (between kidney and bladder.