Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Stand firm in the Lord...

I am so sad tonight--a young man, about the age of my "children" is perhaps losing ground in his battle with cancer. They have called in hospice. I am looking at this from two viewpoints--from a cancer patient and from a parents who has had a child to die young. Both of these aspects are sad, both are really "out of place and time" as far as normal lifetime is concerned. I have talked in the last few days, about how I seem to finally acknowledge that I am only here on this earth because of God's grace and goodness to let me live a little longer. This young man and I have talked-- he is such a strong believer in Jesus, he is such a rock of strength to his family and he certainly is not afraid to die. Those of us who are not yet gone or to have reached this point of passing over, are sad, some are mad, some question why ,someone who has so much to give to the world and have so much to offer his family is maybe "taken".
The last time I saw this young man was at our oncologist about two months ago. He was still very positive, hoping to live longer to see his sons grow up. This is a very dear, several, generational family and we have multiple ties to them. All I can offer is that God is our rock, He is our steadfast anchor, He makes no mistakes. I have to totally lean on His goodness and Know that "yes, I let you have me in any way, at any time, for any use."
This was another day of gnashing of teeth (too much steroids) waking up too early, rushing through the house like I am on a time frame of some sorts. I would love to be relaxed but guess that will not "be" until I am off these pills. I long to drive and be able to get out by myself. John has to take me anywhere I go. My eyes are less "sharp" so he will take me to the eye doctor tomorrow and see if the doctor can give me a better glasses prescription for a few months and see what my eyes do after the three months is up, and I am dismissed from the "skull doctor"..meanwhile, nights drag on and I pray a lot during the nights.
" brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how we should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends..." Phil. 4:1

1 comment:

  1. BEv, a couple of times a week, I get to catch up with your lovely, what you call "rambling," but I would call them blessings. They always bless me and I don't even have ties to your family. I loved your dad's note to you after their 50th celebration, and that on his death certificate it said died of a broken heart, I can only imagine that he did. What a trying time for you girls to lose both parents in such a short time.

    I have to tell you about one of my recent journeys: My husband Dave and our son Russell have antique tractors that they use and go to tractor pulls. We've beent ot he one at Tunica, MS the last two years--no gambling, just luxury cheap rooms. Anyway, this year I drove ahead of them a day to see my Aunt Margaret in Hot Springs, AR. They left Texas the next day and by the time I finished my visiting, I was about five hours ahead of them on the road. So, I'm nearing the turn off of I-40 to go to Miss., when I thought to myself, hey, I've never been to Graceland. I wonder how hard it will be to find without a Google map. I phoned info, and then they connected me to Graceland Insurance company. The lady who answered said, "Oh that happens all the time, what do you want to know?" I asked for directions. She gave wonderful ones.

    Anyway, I drove right on into Memphis, Tennessee, thinking of you by the way, straight to Graceland. My son phoned when I was almost there. "Where are you, Mom?"

    "Almost to Graceland." I hear this big teddy bear of a son's roaring laughter. "Daddy, Mama's on her way to Graceland."

    For a few hours, no one on earth knew where I was except God and me. Sort of a nice feeling. After I took the tour, it was just a 30 mile drive to Tunica. I beat them there.

    Next year, I'm taking my books and having a book table at the tractor event. Just thought you'd like to know I dipped into your state for a couple of hours in early December.

    May God shine on these next few weeks and you grow stronger. Thank you for all your posts.