"...in His word I put my hope"

Today was a good day, no nausea, no pain, no fever. I cannot figure it out, there is no pattern! This is Sunday, and lots of prayers for me, and for John and his pacemaker battery replacement this Friday. I know I have to do something strong in the way of chemo because I believe the cancer is growing. I have a cancer close to my bladder that the radiation earlier this year was supposed to "get" but it apparently did not, so we have to do something before it gets the "better of me". I was so sure earlier last week that I just could not do the patupalone again, but now I know that if not that then something that will kick this quickly! I reaffirm every day that God is in control and then I get fearful and lose my bravery and faith and belief that He is Able! I know we don't always get what we want but I want so badly to be well and strong again, and able to do things I used to do.
Psalm 130:5 says "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope..."