Sunday, December 27, 2009

"O Lord you know me..."

"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways..." Psalm 139:1-3...this is one of my favorite Psalms and one I have in my thoughts frequently, partly because it tells that God knows our "days before we are born". When I think of dying, this is comforting because it reminds me of how God has our lives planed and is in control of these lives. I could quote the entire psalm, all 24 verses, and they are all such meaningful verses for my stage of life especially.
For some reason, I was thinking today of the "farm life" we kind of had when Grandpa was alive. We had hogs and I can remember the hog killing with the hog hanging from a big tree, bleeding out. Grandma made bags of muslin for the sausage, and she made "souse" and they hung the hams in our smoke house. All this is pretty much a lost art unless you live on a large farm today. One time our one cow had her calf in the front yard and that was exciting. We had another calf to be raised for eating, but we made such a pet of him, I cannot remember his being killed--I think Daddy just sold him. Grandpa raised some tobacco for a few years--this was 65 years ago--and he had a wonderful tobacco barn with lots of levels of 2x4's and tobacco sticks for hanging the tobacco on...what a great place to play--all those levels to climb and the sticks became anything you needed them to be--swords, guns, props for a tent, lots of play area. We had the chickens I have talked about and a big creek, which after a large rain was just right for swimming. I think the "swimming hole" was maybe two feet deep but it was floatable! When the creek was low, there were lots of tadpoles and these were fun to put in a jar and watch it become a frog.
Grandma and Grandpa built their house out of cedar slabs. They had lost alot of things in the depression and built this house in the country and it was very special, even featured in the newspaper one Sunday. It looked like a log house from a distance and had a big porch all around, and rock foundation and porch posts. The porch was perfect for climbing up to and sitting on the log railings. Most all I knew as a child, I learned from the evenings on that porch, half asleep while the grown-ups talked.
I depend on these memories of my charmed childhood, my dependence upon God and His knowing me and what I need. I beg God for healing and know He will do what He thinks best...after all, He knows me better than anyone else ever has or ever will.

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