" One thing God has spoken . two things have I heard.."

"One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you O God are strong..." Psalm 62:11...Well, I am back in the land of the living--semi that is-- I have never been so sick and lived through it. I honestly thought I would die while I was in the hospital. On Monday December 14, my oncologist took one look at me and put me in the hospital. While there for five days, I was given unlimited bags of fluid, bags of antibiotics, white cell shots every day, anti-blood clot shots, and two bags of blood. I had my body attacking itself (the natural bacteria taking over my body because there were too few blood cells to fight infection) and resulting in lung inflammation, urine infection and severe sinus infection. I had a mild "melt-down" there and cried a bit. I came home yesterday, still coughing and not feeling very good. I am still on antibiotic, wondering what each day holds now.
There has never been a Christmas for me like this one. I have done no shopping, no cooking, (except the cookies one day that my granddaughter and I made) and still Christmas will come and go on even without my efforts. Family has stepped in and taken over many duties and helping in so many ways. So I am sitting here thinking about next week and hoping I will get a good CT and be able to have chemo--will another round kill me?? I have to keep remembering God is in control and He will keep me and He will do for me what is needed. .."you,O God, are strong.."