Reflecting on Christmas night

This has been a quiet day, again unlike most Christmas days and nights in my lifetime. We have enjoyed just "being", tree lights on, Christmas music playing, wondering what next year will be like??? One of my most memorable Christmas memories was driving up to Grandma's house and it had snowed that year (one of our rare 6 inches of snow) and seeing through the windows, family already there, lights and activity and the promise of family fun within. I rarely speak of Grandpa as he had died when Grandma was 73 and she lived another 25 years after that, most of it in her home.
I love the fairly new song, "Mary, Don't you Know" and especially the line that speaks of "when you kiss your baby, you've kissed the face of God..", thinking of that 14 years old young woman (which is what historians think Mary was) having a baby nearly alone in a stable, and the burden she was mature enough to understand and to carry. Luke 1:46-55 tells her response to God when the angel told her of the impending birth...She immediately says "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.."
Oh, to have that faith and assurance of being in the right relationship with our savior. I love going to sleep at night as I am praying. Someone said, "is that putting God in a bad way, to go to sleep in prayer?" I feel it is comforting, to fall asleep talking to the most important being in my entire life. So I am praying alot, fearful that I won't be here next Christmas, and who will take care of John? I have three more almost normal days until chemo starts again next Tuesday..will I ever be able to live without chemo? maybe not..but maybe we can live with it and make a fairly good life with it for a while. Forgive my rambling thoughts on this wonderful night commemorating our Christ's birth. Merry Christmas!