Sunday, October 24, 2010

" God will hear me."

" for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

Almost all my hair has fallen out. The other times, I have gone and had my head shaved before this stage. I just pull on it each day and more falls out and I put it in the trash, so it is nearly gone. The worst part is waking up in the morning with hair on the pillow and in my mouth...ptouey.....(or whatever).

We went to church today, went late and left just before it was over so I did not have much chance to talk or shake hands, and no hugging. I feel so isolated and out of the bunch of friends at church, I miss Sunday School and friends there. I miss talking to everyone walking through the halls and atrium. I miss hugs and seeing how everyone is. I just miss life as it normally is. Will I ever have a normal life anymore? Sorry for my "pity party" but I do have to think about these things sometimes. Also, my fingers have cracked open in 5 places...they really hurt, especially if I hit them against something.

As I go to sleep, naps or night, I say the "Lord's Prayer", sometimes falling asleep as I say it. It has become my comfort zone for me. I put the Prayer Shawl over me that the friend made for me. I wish I could learn to crochet and make those. I tried but did not do very well. I need to try again.

I am not much good tonight, just rambling, counting days until Tuesday and FINALLY some decision may be made about do we or don't we do this chemo!!!

So, God, please hear me, I "wait for God, my Savior".

1 comment:

  1. Barbara Johnson-ClarkOctober 24, 2010 at 11:13 PM

    Dear Bev,
    It was so good to see you this morning at worship, and you looked beautiful. I know you love to point out that I am also legally blind whenever I tell you how beautiful you look. Just more evidence of your sense of humor being safely intact. We are praying with all our hearts for the answer on Tuesday to be the one that will lead to the cure. We love you dearly.
    God bless,
    Barbara and Alan