Thursday, May 6, 2010

"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart.."

At the oncologist today we had a long discussion. My doctor told me the experimental chemo I am on is given in various doses to quite a few patients. They are given in doses ranging from "20" to "36" to "45" to "56" which means the levels of strength. It is called "carfilzomib" I think...not totally sure of the spelling. Five weeks ago I was given "36" for my first dose and handled it well so they gave me "56" the next five times. I did ok for several doses then progressively got sicker as it went along, ending up with the lung inflammation and could hardly breathe by dose six, and they gave me the ZPac and I got well. When we talked today, he understands that of course, I want something that will (ultimate prayer--cure me) hold this cancer at bay and still give a good quality of life...more good days than bad days!
He told me to take another week off and we will do a CT next week and see if this Carbilzomib is doing any good toward shrinking the liver tumors. If it is, then next Thursday and Friday I will start the second round and get "36" each time for 6 times. If the CT shows no improvement, he will switch to a different chemo.
My doctor thinks it is possible for me to have this balance of meds and a good life. He also said he will give me a B12 shot each month for better energy, and boost my blood. Also, I will get a red cell shot whenever I can.
The neurosurgeon wants me to have an MRI to followup for the surgery I had in January, and make sure my brain is normal (?)...I really do not want to go through that again but the oncologist thinks that is a good idea to make sure there is no new tumors or anything there. So I will have to do that some time this summer.
I think all of this is a good plan. I prayed for wisdom to sort out all the information and for my doctor to have a wise protocol. If my insides are not growing new tumors, this is a good plan.
Of course, I am screaming inside--I hate this!!! God alone keeps me logically centered --on Him...I could not do this alone.
Hebrews 10:22 tells us to "...draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us"...verse 23..."let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful."

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