Monday, May 10, 2010

A strong tower...

Proverbs 18:10 says "the name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run in to it and are safe."
I have met a new friend, Kathryn, on a blog--she is an old friend of our daughter-in-law and son. Kathryn has cancer and is also writing a was sent to me and I will put on here how to up and find it. This is all new to her and to my friend Gene in Florida. Each chemo and treatment and radiation is all "new" and frightening and horrifying and the unknown is always the worst.
I am writing to her a synopsis of my Six years experience and now it all seems surreal and I think "did I really do that???"
Some days I feel so under God's protection and other days, I get scared and know satan is attacking me because I will not get angry at God.
In fact one of our preachers asked me if I ever get angry at God and I said, "no, I get sad". This preacher who is also a counselor, said this is a deeper emotion than anger. I may have told you this before, but then I can pull up things gone by and feel them again.
I get angry at cancer. I get angry at the betrayal of our bodies that used to be strong and healthy. I get angry that I really, really did not appreciate all that good health like I should have.
I am happy most of the time, even with this cancer. Except on chemo days, I can almost forget anything is wrong.
So another good day of "vacation", tomorrow another to feel good and be at peace.

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