Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday November 2 is our wedding anniversary, and next week is a daily "doctor/blood letting/chemo/chemical infusion" week; ( I guess chemotheraphy is kind of like childbirth--time erases the memory and how bad it really was)Now I am saying "well, I guess it won't be so bad, and maybe I won't really be so sick" and John is looking at me like I am feeble minded and saying things like "it was really horrible, don't you remember?" All this to say, we celebrated our anniversary today instead of Monday. John took me to a wonderful old hotel in town--the Hermitage, built in 1910, and restored in 2002 to beyond its' original glory...really a magnificent landmark here. We had a delicious brunch in the dining room and walked around the hotel, looking at old pictures, seeing the "rest rooms" which have won awards for the "best in the US".. then spent the rest of the day, shopping and just doing whatever came to mind...It has been a great anniversary day. I am really not feeble minded, just in denial, dreading the start of this round of chemo again. The first set, I said "never again", even had my port removed then when the cancer came back, the doctor said it would be sad to just sit back and die, so here we went again; so for the third chemo, here I am again. Sorry if I am being repetious; when you have cancer, the things you do to stay alive kind of become focused on your mind. I thought I had gotten through the crying spells after the surgery but today, I find myself almost "teary", not quite...I have to stay focused and positive, strong and full of faith. Somedays this is easier than others. I know I have an out-of-this-world husband and family, church and friends praying and being available for whatever needs I have. Deut. 31:6, taken out of context, yet the words are comforting (I have read that the Bible says more about "do not be afraid" than any things else!!) Anyway, this says "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or terrified--I will never leave you or forsake you." So, I will wipe away those tears, put on rose colored glasses, and gear up for the treatments on Monday... and look forward to next year's anniversary!