Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A Different Today

Well, yesterday at this time, I thought I would be in the hospital today, my how plans can be changed! I was admitted, IV's started, dye in the veins, put to sleep, breathing tube and all, went under the CT machine (did not know this part) and the radiologist doctor found two more tumors that had not shown up on the last CT...and they are in "dangerous" positions in my body (in other words, not where the being burnt up would be too good). So they woke me up, and we talked about the alternative. The radiologist feels a chemo delivered directly into the liver via an arteriogram is the best alternative, done in four stages to parts of the liver each time. This will take about two months to do, and meanwhile the other cancer in my abdomen which was not removeable needs chemo so I may be on two kinds at once. This is not something I would have chosen to do! After the first chemo 5 years ago I said "never again"...I even had that first port removed, I was so confident to never repeat the chemo. Then when the cancer came back the second time, I really did not want to just sit and die, so here we went again. As I was lying there today feeling teary, blue, "what am I going to do", the sweetest nurse came and held my hand and told me that God was taking care of me and that I would glorify Him thru this cancer. Wow, was that a heaven-sent moment or what? So I am home, kind of dopey from the anesthesia, glad to be alive on this lovely autumn day with what my grandmother used to call "October's bright blue weather"...the skies are so blue, it nearly hurts to look at them.My grandmother was my role model for my life...therein lies another day.."Praise the Lord oh my soul".

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Bev, how I've longed to hear from you today. You are such a bright beam of light to write with such wisdom after this let down.

    Nurses are God's ministering angels on earth today. Sheryle is in clinicals at hospitals and she has already had experieinces with dying HIV patients and others with milder things that could be healed. I thank God for the one who held your hand today.

    I look forward to all your posts and your healing.