Waiting and Thinking

Sometimes thinking is dangerous---the kind where you wake up and your mind won't shut off and you hear the clock strike several times, and so on and so on---When I was younger my mother in law would talk about "things she thought about in the middle of the night"...I thought that was so funny. With three young ones I NEVER woke up to think about anything unless a child was sick, just hit the bed and "die" until the alarm went off. Well, let me tell you, the thinking in the middle of the night must be an "older thing" and I am definitely in that category now. Especially with thinking about treatment coming up and how I will feel, and does my wig still look good and will I lose weight/gain weight?...the important stuff...I guess trying to not worry about will it work and will it kill the cancer cells. My mother used to talk aboaut how our family had lots of ancestors who were so strong, and that we were strong and could get through anything. She especially liked to tell about great grandmother Eliza (my great-great grandmother) and her experiences during the Civil War. You who are from north of the Mason Dixon Line, may observe we southerners still like to "reminisce" about this time---can't help it, it is in our blood! Anyway, grandmother Eliza looked out the door of her Kentucky farmhouse and saw a group of Yankee soldiers coming up the walk. She immediately invited them in, went out and killed some chickens, fried it with all the good things that go with fried chicken and fed them well. Needless to say, they were appreciative and left her with many thanks and did not raid her farm. So Mama always said we have that same backbone of strength. I hope so. I also claim the strength of Jesus as Romans 15:13 says: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit"...This is where my trust is.